is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
