I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
