hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
