Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
