dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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