I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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