remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
