Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize