after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
