Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
FUCK WHALES
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
