So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Randomize
