We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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