ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Randomize
