I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Randomize
