i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
