Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
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