I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
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