They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Randomize
