I just cut my nipple shaving
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
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