Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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