so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize