Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Randomize
