can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
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