eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Randomize
