i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Randomize
