What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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