U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
if i can run in heels then i can drive
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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