Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
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