Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
