the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
