YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Randomize
