Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
