if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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