i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
