Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Randomize
