Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Randomize
