I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
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