I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
