how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
