Well apparently he's into motor boating.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Randomize
