Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
I want you more than these girls want KFC
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
I need a burrito and a hug.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
