Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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