The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
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