and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Randomize
