Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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