dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
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