so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Randomize