Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
