we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
