Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Randomize