you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
