You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
I have post one night stand depression
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