I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
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