When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Randomize
