It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize