i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize