oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
