Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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