I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize
