Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
