Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize
