she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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